Handjobs, or “the French handshake” as I like to call them, gain a pretty bad rap, prefer it’s some sort of youth act scheduled for horny yet prudish teens behind the bleachers in ~ Homecoming. I call BS, and I’m here to wake up for the knuckle shuffle since I love them — here’s why:


I don’t have to obtain naked.

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 Okay, yeah, ns love gift naked, yet sometimes law sex stuff while quiet wearing my clothing is pretty convenient — specifically if I’m wearing a dress and I simply finished whole Chipotle burato for lunch. Sure, I’m horny, but I’m no trying to display off the bloat. Plus, let’s be actual — the entirety not being naked thing also adds come the discretion of the handie, i beg your pardon is truly among my favorite offering points.


They’re the definition of spontaneous hotness.

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 This most likely doesn’t sound very good to say, but I’m sort of a handjob pro. Areas I’ve provided my friend at the very least a half of a handjob and haven’t been recorded include his parents’ head dock, parking lot outside my work, a Greyhound bus to Detroit… you acquire the idea. You can’t have full-on sex simply anywhere, however handjobs room a bit much more discrete and also therefore a bit an ext portable.


It’s much less work than a BJ.

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 Look, ns love providing oral sex, i do, but man, if that ain’t some tough work as soon as your heart isn’t every the method in that (or four tequila shots aren’t all the method in you). Anyone who’s given a an excellent oral to know the next-day feeling of a life inner lip together a result of responsibly protecting his cock skin from your cheese grater teeth. With a handjob, at most you’re looking in ~ mild wrist discomfort, but really that’s on you for not switching increase the style, sister. He thinks you’re getting creative, yet really you’re strategically preventing giving you yourself carpel tunnel.

You have the right to make it into a game.

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no gonna lie, I definitely do this. It’s prefer playing one-sided tug that war. I think we all love the ego an increase that comes together with manually obtaining someone off, like, “Yeah, I simply did the crap! feel my mighty sexual prowess! You’re no enhance for these mitts!” but it’s even much more fun when you shot to outdo her own personal bests. Mine? 32 seconds in the handicap restroom of the university library. Beat THAT!


There’s a feeling of strength that comes through gripping somebody’s manhood.

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I like to provide his junk a slightly uncomfortable to express — think the blood pressure machine at the drugstore — just to repeat him who’s really in charge. That in itself makes up because that the imbalance in genital stimulation that comes with giving a handjob. Yet hey, I get off top top power, what can I say?


There’s zero danger of pregnancy.

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 And you don’t need to swallow those mouth babies! Honestly, it’s a victory all around. Isn’t it much easier to wash your hands 보다 listen come a player define why condoms “ruin the feeling” for him?


It’s a great way come “try prior to you buy.” 

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You never recognize what you’re gaining penis-wise. Let’s confront it — unless he sends you a sext that his junk, you don’t know if you’re gonna acquire an eggplant or a infant corn. Or a completely satisfying zucchini, which is perfect fine for most girls, we swear. Anyway, let’s to speak you’re emotion a dude, you begin making out and you know you have actually the complete intention of boning this man (we always know). Offering a handjob is choose taking a vehicle out for a test drive. There’s naught worse than acquiring it on and wondering what her life could’ve been had actually you only well-known beforehand the this dude has a whack penis.


It brings ago nostalgic feelings of freedom and youth. 

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Cue the 1950s radio announcer voice! Remember as soon as life was simple? girlfriend didn’t pay taxes. You didn’t have crippling existential anxiety. Your childhood dog was still alive. Yeah, those were the days. Aid you and your male both relive the magic that days gone by with a great old fashioned wank off!


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